i dreamt of shihan again last night

For these past years.. i have been dreaming about him..
i know i was in wrong at that time for not holding on tight to him..
i know it was me that i do not have the courage to be with him..
i know i was wrong...
but there is no way i can turn back time nw...
y do i always have to dream of him..
GOD wun give me a second chance to be with him le..
so y dream of him...
dun torture me...
everytime i dreamt of him, everytime i cried..
i'm sorry, Shihan..
i should have listen to you back then...
you once said : If u dun have the courage to leave him.. we will never be togther..
i'm sorry, shihan.. forgive me..